So Long, George

George Carlin died yesterday. Please see my previous Blog from May 26 to see how I feel about that. If you were never a Carlin fan please feel free to skip this. For those of you who did enjoy his comedy, I thought I’d share some of my favorite Carlinisms. They may not be word-for-word but you’ll understand

Who gave airline pilots the rank of Captain? The airline? The Captain requests that you put your seats in the upright position. Oh yeah, tell him Field Marshall Carlin says to go #!@$#@ himself.

The wrong two Beatles died.

The radar indicates a line of thunderstorms along the East Coast, but it also indicates a bunch of nuclear missiles coming at us, so I wouldn’t sweat the thunderstorms.

Nobody wants to save the world; they just want to save their little piece of it. Suppose the only reason the planet wanted us here in the first place was to provide Styrofoam and plastic bags? Some day the earth will shake us off like a bad case of the fleas.

Why does everyone carry around their own personal bottle of water now? When did everyone get so thirsty?

Maybe our loved ones aren’t all going to heaven. Maybe Grandma will end up baking pies in hell, with no oven.

If you’re not black, please turn your ball cap around.

When you get old, you can leave a place whenever you want. All you have to do is say, “I’m tired.” It’s great.

Hey, we’re bombing more brown people. Tell me when we were bombing some country that wasn’t brown? Yeah, there were the Nazis, but they were bombing brown people, and that’s our job.

Gone but not forgotten. RIP, George.